Howard Cosell hasn’t been on the air for a very long time, but I still remember my brother imitating the iconic sportscaster’s voice as he called the play-by-play for any game in which he was involved – be it a pick-up football game in the backyard or an imaginary game that existed only in his mind.
As I grew up, I noticed the same tendency in most of my male friends and relations. The need to do sports commentary seems to come with the package a Y-chromosome brings.
And in Kid Two, this tendency is developed to a huge degree.
“Fourth and eight. This one doesn’t look like an easy conversion at all,” Kid Two just said, playing an NCAA football game. “First down! First down Northwestern!”
He seems to alternate between play-by-play and color commentary, and he has not compunction about being evenhanded; he’s a homer for whichever team he’s controlling.
But he doesn’t just call the games he’s playing on Wii or Playstation. He calls the game as he’s putting laundry in the hamper, the game in his head at hockey practice, the game as he fields grounders off the garage wall. He even calls the games he watches on TV, even though somebody else is already getting paid to do that job.
Last year, while waiting for hockey practice after dressing, he was watching a Blackhawks game on the lobby TV. And doing the play-by-play.
“Who is he talking to?” his coach asked.
Who knows?
But if ESPN is ever looking to expand its broadcasting stable, he’ll be ready to audition.
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